Public v Private

It's been a bit difficult this last week or so. I've been about two cups of tea away from leaving the scene altogether. Perhaps surprising to those who know me as a bit of an exhibitionist, I'm very private about anything painful I'm going through, preferring instead to concentrate on the positives in public.

Part of the reason I drifted away from the goth scene was the bitch fest that resulted every time there was a slight bit of conflict and people getting involved when they shouldn't do. I absolutely hate the bitchy side of a scene. It disgusts me when people take sides and get involved in a private matter between two people.

As of tonight, I've removed all online content from my fetlife and ic profiles, and am just keeping the account to keep in touch with friends. I think this is the best way, for now, and not a decision I've taken without reservations. But it's better than leaving the scene for good, and this way I get to keep in touch with the people who've come into my life recently.

I'm trying not to let all of this tarnish the beautiful and spiritual thing that play has become to me, but it's quite hard at the moment.