Monday 8 June 2009

The Vampire Novella / Chapter 4: Bitten

nvocation, awakening. Did I call your name in my sleep?

For the first time, burning bright, hope and wonder and fear and dissolution, twisting, binding. Bound in darkness as I am, I'll save myself.

Master D is staying for a few days. A visit, from one Master to another. I would have been gifted to him for the night, if not for my ruin. Instead, I'm one of dozens, bruised and used, surrendering to endurance as we fight to last through the day's drudgery. Tired and worn, I'm just another scullery slattern, working to make the rooms look perfect…no sign of disorder allowed to so much as hint at a weak spot in the household staff; a chink capable of being forced open and used.

The tiredness pulls at me as I carry the laundry down the corridor, constant blood loss and recovery all taking its toll. A young man with long, dark blonde hair, walks past me and to my frustration the shock makes me drop the linen I carry. He wears a very different form to the other times we've met…his body is changed, transformed, but his eyes are the same: innocent, hurting, puppy-like in their need to please but afraid, so afraid. My heart hurts for him. He kneels as I do, to help me collect the dropped sheets, spattered in red, his shoulders hunched in misery.

“I'm sorry”, he whispers. “I'm so, so sorry”. I put my arms around him and cuddle him, his long hair so strokeable, so lovable. “I'm not sorry”, I murmur in his ear. “You saved me. I hated him. It's better like this”. His beautiful, expressive eyes fill with a momentary hope, forgiveness so close, then a flinching fear of believing in it. I kiss him gently on the lips, so soft and pretty. Then I quickly pull my burden back into my arms and walk away, head down. I've got so much I need to do. A wolf puppy whimper trails in the air behind me.

I watch from a high window as Master D arrives. The out of town visitor pulls up his bike outside In a swirl of dust and noise, his companions limited to a few; less than I would expect in this potentially explosive situation. There's a tired look about them, as if they've been riding a long time. The smell of fumes and the shiny metal contrast jarringly with the surroundings of the estate.

The group seem cohesive, whole. They look similar – dirty, muscular, sleeveless t-shirts and black leather. It's obvious though, who the Master is. He looks the very definition of jagged-edged, uncompromised and unpolished masculinity; exuding an air of hunt, kill or fuck. He has a simple, undecorated sword belted to his waist.

I'm drawing almost to the bottom of my reserves of energy, with very little left. My body is trying to heal hundreds of injuries, do the work I've been given, and process the trauma of the last few months.

Thrown into the pool of servants who simply exist to work until they collapse, means I'm fair game for anyone who chooses to aim a kick at me. And plenty have.

I'm so tired I'm not thinking straight, and as I push open the heavy wood on the panelled door, I can't understand why I'm here, in this place, at this time. As I walk inside, I'm shocked outside of my own mind's exhaustion for a moment as I see Wolf, standing awkwardly. His expression mirrors the one I know must appear on my own face.

Then we both notice someone standing, looking out of the window, his back to us, his hands clasped behind him, long leather trenchcoat disguising his unmistakeable silhouette. He turns. The dim light shows him only faintly, one side of his face in darkness, the other in the light. His head is shaved, his piercings and tattoos both catch and reflect the light. His smile looks so gentle on such a harsh face, the kindness all the more sweet for the hardness it contrasts with – a single flower petal lying in a dusty desert valley.

“I called you here”. Again, his voice sounds too gentle for that body. I wait, anticipating a blow or new humiliation. Wolf's hand creeps, unnoticed, into mine. I feel the hair on the back of his hand start to alter into fur, the uncertainty and potential threat bringing on a glimpse of Change.

“I heard your sadness wherever I went. It spoke to me. It's why I've come here. I heard your call and I answered it with my own”. He is suddenly so much closer. His hand lifts my chin. I look into his eyes, still with a hint of pride inside me even now, but also a question. Am I ruined? The questions are pulling and blistering me. The dark pool of water that is always inside me, brackish and deep, locked in the cavern…sometimes the waves crash against the walls, the noise so loud it deafens me…I can't hear my own thoughts. I feel the water rising, trying to pull me nearer to the cliff edge, down into the surging, life-sucking sea.

Again, that smile. I feel my stomach tighten in response. He holds my gaze and won't let me fall. “Eyes like yours are too beautiful to waste on tears of sadness”, he says. He leans forward and for a moment I think he will kiss me; but instead he takes his hand from my chin and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

He turns to Wolf. “And such loyalty should not go unnoticed, unrewarded, unreturned”. His expression clouds, there is anger there for a moment. He speaks to us both now. “I can help you. I can make it better. But you have to ask for it. I'll never do anything to you that you haven't asked me to do”.

Wolf turns to me. His eyes are pleading. I know what his choice is, but he's leaving it up to me to decide. A thousand tears I've cried. Bleeding. Broken and torn. Against my will. And still I want more. But not from that Master, the beautiful one. No, not ever for him again. It's time for him to bleed, broken and torn, for me.

I nod once, slowly, and Wolf immediately kneels at Master D's feet, taking his hand into his mouth and biting down gently, licking at it. I know what has to come next. Blood. It's always about blood and sex. “I will only hurt you when I need to hurt you, Lucy, when you want me to. And you will want me to. I promise you”. My skin tingles. I know it's true. I want him to already. But it must also be his choice.

He knows when I make the decision, he can read my feelings as clearly as if I've voiced them. But he wants me to say it. I step closer, so close I feel the heat of his body as if he were human. “I want you”, I whisper in his ear. His arms go around me, holding me close. We are standing and his arms are around me…I fight down the rising panic. I put my hands behind his neck. He kisses me, his lips no longer smiling, nor kind, but demanding, insistent. His tongue slides inside, shocking, violating. I'm so wet. I feel as if he's raping me but he's barely touched me. His hands are on my ass, pulling at my clothes, tearing.

I lose my struggle not to panic and I start to pull away, helpless, but I can't move. He eases us onto the floor as I fight…I get my hands onto his face and push, turning his cheekbones back and forth under my palms. My lips are on his skin, sucking, biting, my panic subdued by this illusion of control, momentary, fleeting. I curl my fingers around his wrists, digging my nails in…hard…he lets me, and I know that he is letting me.

In a sudden movement he flips me, so that he is lying above my body, his arms above my head are holding my wrists, pinning me down. He's shockingly hard, I can feel his cock is thick and solid against my soaked pussy. Oh god, I need him…I want him… “Please, please, you can have anything,,.you can do anything to me…I want you to. I want you to rape me”.

His hand on my throat, his other hand in my hair, his eyes to mine. “Do you give yourself to me, do you give your body and your heart, your darkness and your light, to me? To use as I decide you need me to use you? My toy and my most precious possession, in blood, in loyalty, in pain, now and in death?” “Please, please, yes, I'm going to come, please, please”. “I'm going to rape you. I'm going to fuck your pussy until I come, then I'm going to come in your mouth. Then I'm going to fuck your ass until I've filled you up with my life. I'm going to drink you until I've taken yours”. “Please, please, I need you to”.

I feel the first few hard inches of his cock slide inside me. I'm so wet but I'm tight for him, and I feel myself tighten even more as he moves to get the next few inches inside. He takes me skilfully, but he's fucking me for his own pleasure, not mine, and his thrusts are frantic and fast. His hips are pumping even as mine move forward to meet them, I'm hindered by the pain in my arms and wrists as he presses his entire body weight down through his hands and his cock.

I come effortlessly this first time, furiously, my mouth opens, my head falls back, I'm calling out my need. His hands tighten, my pussy clenches, drawing him in deeper, releases, tightens, holds…his whole body shakes…his face is almost angelic, beautiful, as if lit from within. I'm transfixed, the sight of him so perfect that I come again, screaming this time, arching beneath him, as I feel him shoot hot, viscous, sticky come inside me, over and over and over again.

Tears on my face, but not of sadness, not this time. He licks up my tears, biting, nuzzling at my neck, hands on my breasts, squeezing, sucking, suckling.

I hear a whimper from Wolf and fur under my fingertips. He's used the energy release to complete his Change and I feel his concern for me. I pat and scratch at him so that he knows I'm happy, so happy and content.

Master D holds me so close….I feel the waves calm inside me…his hands pull me into a kneeling position in front of him. He takes hold of his rapidly stiffening cock and brings my head closer, pushing the end of his swollen tip, so sensitive, so smooth, into my mouth. I clean come and my own wetness from him with my tongue, swallowing down the taste of sunlight. I moan, and murmur his name…rub my face against his cock, needing it…licking, sucking, begging, teasing. I hold my own wrists behind my back, not trusting myself…I want to grab him and pull him roughly deeper inside. My legs widen unconsciously. I'm so wet my thighs are soaked. He sighs and takes handfuls of my hair, and he's fucking my face, deeply, rhythmically, pounding the back of my throat, letting me take him in all the way. He jerks…shallow movements although all of him is inside me. I have no conscious thought…my wrists stay obediently held together.

As I feel the first hot spurt hit the back of my throat, I try to moan, but my mouth is too filled with cock, the sound muffled by his balls pressed against my lips. He pounds into my mouth, shooting jet after jet of come into my willing throat. I swallow it down. I am so nearly replete. But I need one more kind of fucking before we're done.

There is no resting this time…I've barely begun to breathe normally again when he pulls me firmly across so that I'm straddling him, as he lies back on the floor. He lifts my buttocks and parts them. Unbelievably he's hard again already, and he uses my own wetness and come to lubricate me as he fingers my ass. My face shows my pain, and my satisfaction, as he pushes himself inside, gently, his cock soaking wet and slippery from the previous two fuckings.

Once he's inside me, he moves me back and forth in tiny thrusts, his hands on my hips. I'm crying, I'm crying for him now. My hands remain behind my back still, unmoving despite the painful ramming he begins giving me. He's pushing and shoving and forcing himself inside my ass, please god, I want, I need, I beg, I whimper for him, I live for him; soon, very soon I'll die for him, die of wanting him.

I'm frozen, then suddenly I'm coming, coming so hard, over and over again, my eyes wide and open and shocked, full of fear, contentment, pain, yearning, lust, looking into his fallen angel's face. His thrusts speed in rhythm, his hands on my hips dig tighter and deeper into the flesh, drawing new blood. Again, again, again, I feel the heat flush up my chest, I arch, raise up, one more time as he shoots me full, fucking me in the ass, filling me full of his come. In these last moments he pulls up, sitting, hands moving from my hips to holding my wrists behind my back. His teeth sink into my neck, he sucks, sucks and drinks down. Liquid pours out of me and into him, hot and sticky and full of life and light, and in return, pours from him into me, both for one final time.
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There is stillness. Peace.

Wrapped in darkness, gentle movement. Everything feels warmer to me now. So content, floating. And in the darkness, the water no longer surges. But there is something I need to do.
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I walk out of the chamber. I look only forward.

All doors are open for me. There is no-one who questions my right to walk this path.

The feasting hall is full. The Beautiful Master's serving toys, and his equals, his Wolf, the visitors, and Master D…all of these sit or stand as the hearth fire burns, shadows and half-light and illumination and illusion, all flickering.

Every face turns to me as I enter, barefoot and naked. But no longer ruined. The Beautiful Master is disgusted. His mouth opens, his lip curls. My sword slices through his throat…the sword I pulled from the hand which offered it to me. I clean the sword on the carcass and return it to its true owner. The Beautiful Master is severed, ended. I am new, complete.
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I call to Wolf. He consumes the carcass, leaving only bones to burn brightly in the hearth fire.
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I meet Master D's eyes. He knows I could take all of this, as is my right, to hold and keep for my own.
I walk to where he is sitting. I bend to one knee, lower my head, offer my throat to his sword, returned to him. He takes my face into his hands, and smiles sunlight for me. He kisses me…pulling me onto his knee and spanking me…hands sliding over my naked skin, reddening my flesh, my flesh for him.
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He pulls me into his lap. We drink from the same glass as Wolf growls throatily to himself, mauling the carcass, dragging pieces across the room so he can sit at his new Master's feet. He has one hand on Wolf's head, and one hand around my waist. I lift my cup to his lips for him to taste. “What shall we play next?”